Growing up is such an intriguing concept. It’s bizarre how much your outlook on life and the people in it change as you mature.
Honestly, I have no idea whether to cringe or laugh at some of my past entries. I first started this blog back when I was fifteen years old and it became a sort of diary for me. I would discuss anything and everything that came to mind and often, those things were ridiculous.
I’m pretty sure I even wrote a post about how much catching the bus annoyed me :P. Now, I know that with everything blog wise, I would simply hit delete and never see it again (at least until some computer whiz dug it up years from now). But, then it occurred to me… i’m a young adult fiction writer.. what better way to keep in touch with teenagers than reading the things that were important to me when I was a teenager.
Actually, I found it incredibly amusing just how melodramatic and serious everything was. The earlier entries were filled with misguided anger towards facilities that were there to help me. For example, I was angry at a school that helped to shape me for who I am today. The later entries focused on how I viewed death and love. But then again, that’s what being a teenager is all about.
Every emotion is raw and unforgiving. Love is found fast and heartbreak is found even faster. The life of a teenager is similar to that of a patient in a mental asylum (okay so maybe that’s a little overboard). They feel dozens of emotions in a short period of time and often feel like they are going crazy.
Of course, so much has changed since then. I look at those posts and just wonder what it was that made me so angry towards people and towards love in the first place. I sounded like I was a forty-year-old bitter woman when really, I barely even scratched the surface of what life was really like.
Regardless of how cringe-worthy the posts are, I decided to keep them simply to give me (and all of you) the ability to see how much growing up changes you and the thought patterns that you have.
Also, what better way to write for the young adult audience than to remind myself what was most important to me when I was that age?